Everywhere
by diet-cherry-coke
Summary: No flames, this is my first :) It's Rachel's death anniversery. Will Tobais ever get over Rachel's death? Find out in this extremely sad story. It is based upon the song Everywhere by Michelle Branch. It just proves that Tobais and Rachel can't be se


Everywhere  
  
This takes place after Rachel's death, but before they ram the blade ship. Tobais's POV and Rachel's POV.  
  
Pleaze-no flames! I am just trying this out, I am new and before I post my real fanfic, I wanted to try it. K! Enjoy!  
  
Tobais:  
  
Turn it inside out so I can see,  
  
The part of you that's drifting over me  
  
I woke with a jolt. What was today? I tried to think, but this morning I was a birdbrain. I snickered at the corny thought. As much a red-tailed hawk can snicker, anyway. I saw some field mice. Breakfast. I swooped down.  
  
I remembered what today was! But I nearly flew into a tree at the thought. The field mice, suddenly alert that I was there, scampered off. Darn.  
  
Today was the anniversary of Rachel's death. I wasn't hungry for breakfast anymore. I settled down on a branch as I thought.  
  
Rachel…it'd been what? How long? Yes. 3 years we'd known each other, and in those final moments, that was when we were finally able to express our feelings. Those last, fleeting moments. And then, she was gone. I didn't see her die. I had turned away. My Rachel, who'd always been so strong, fall like that.  
  
I flew toward Cassie's old barn. I don't know why. It was abandoned. No one would be in there. No one but old memories. Our old selves as ghosts, maybe, but only that. Ghosts of a memory.  
  
When I wake, you're…you're never there,  
  
When I sleep, you're…you're everywhere…  
  
You're Everywhere.  
  
I landed in a tree next to the old barn. I stared. It was in ruins. You'd have thought they would have made it a museum or something, but they just let it fall beyond repair. I stared. It was almost as if I could see all of us, in our youth, talking about what plans the yeerks had. I mean, we complained about how much we wanted normal lives, but I think not just Rachel liked the war. We all did, but in different ways. Cassie liked the fact it brought her closer to animals. Rachel liked being Xena: Warrior Princess. Marco liked being able to cheer someone up, and Jake, well, I think Jake never liked it. Jake got the hard job. But me…yeah, I liked it. It made me feel needed, wanted. It brought me to the girl I loved.  
  
And then, it also took her away from me.  
  
Suddenly, I could see us all, sitting there, in that broken down barn. I could see Rachel. She was laughing. I held that memory close to my heart. And then…she was gone.  
  
Just tell me how I got this far,  
  
Just tell me why you're here and who you are,  
  
'Cause every time I look, you're never there.  
  
And every time I sleep you're always there,  
  
You're every where to me,  
  
And when I close my eyes, it's you I see,  
  
And everything I know that makes me believe…  
  
I'm not alone…..  
  
I'm not alone.  
  
I was distracted from the barn for a moment. I saw a young girl, no, woman, heading toward I was. I started to take off.  
  
"No, please, Tobais, don't. Not yet."  
  
I was startled. That was Cassie!  
  
Cassie? Why are you here?  
  
Cassie shrugged.  
  
"I almost see us. You know, when we were…us,"  
  
Me too.  
  
"Think she can see us?"  
  
Rachel? She's screaming at us, Cassie. She's screaming, 'Don't go to that old barn! Look for your breakfast, Tobais! Go out with Jake, Cassie!'  
  
"Yeah, you're right, Tobais.  
  
We stared at the old hut some more. I flew down, and perched where I had usually perched while discussing meetings.  
  
"Remember David? Rachel hated that guy's guts, man. She was disturbed, though. She acted tough, but she wasn't more violent than us, in ways. She just found that it bothered her less than us."  
  
Maybe you're right, Cassie. But I like to think she was stronger than us  
  
I recognize the way you make me feel,  
  
It's hard to think you might not be real,  
  
But since that now the water's getting deep,  
  
And I try to wash the pain away from me…  
  
Away from me…  
  
"Tobais, are you ok?" Cassie asked me.  
  
Most of the time. Why?  
  
"You don't have to live like this!" Cassie exploded. "Tobais, WE don't have to live like this! The Yeerks are gone. You have no need to morph. Get out of your red-tailed hawk morph. Be human! You wouldn't have to hunt for food! You wouldn't be…one of…"  
  
…One of the forgotten Animorphs. I finished for her. Cassie, there's no need for history to remember me. And, by the way, I have no need to live human, either. I couldn't take Rachel out on a date, couldn't hold her hand, couldn't kiss her…  
  
"Rachel is gone, Tobais!"  
  
If a hawk could cry, I would've. But hawks don't cry. So I shot back,  
  
I noticed, Cassie.  
  
"Tobais…" We were silent for a long time. Out of no where, came a figure. This figure was named Marco.  
  
He was surprised to see us. "Hey, bird-boy, tree-hugger. I didn't expect to find you all here."  
  
Nice to see you, too, Marco, I said dryly.  
  
"This is National Rachel Day," Marco declared. "The president said so himself."  
  
"Rachel would've liked that," murmured Cassie.  
  
"She would think all of this was funny. Ya know?" Marco said. I actually saw his eyes well up with tears. I turned away.  
  
I saw Jake. He was on his way. I immediately came off my perch, and did something I hadn't done in a year.  
  
(chorus)  
  
When I touch your hand,  
  
It's then I understand,  
  
The beauty is within,  
  
And it's now that we begin,  
  
You've always lacked my way,  
  
There never comes a day…  
  
No matter where I go,  
  
I always feel you so…  
  
Jake arrived at the barn to see 3 human people standing there. Cassie, Marco, and the human Tobais. Not the hawk. But the person. The reason I had loved Rachel is because she had loved the hawk and the person. She had once *said, "Come on, Tobais, let's fly. The two of you, and the two of me, let's all fly together."  
  
She meant her two personalities and mine. She was a little quick-tempered, but she had always known what to say. She was like that.  
  
I felt her, even now. Jake had come. He sorta grinned, his head cocked to one side. "So I wasn't the only one missing Rachel."  
  
"Not by a long shot," said Cassie.  
  
We all took our places in the old, beat-up barn. Except, I took Rachel's. I couldn't stand her spot to be so empty.  
  
(chorus)  
  
You're everywhere to me,  
  
When I catch my breath, it's you I believe,  
  
You're everything I know that makes me believe,  
  
I'm not alone…  
  
Rachel  
  
They where in the barn. Our barn. Hehe. I missed them. I missed Cassie's friendship, Marco's annoying comments, Jake's leadership, but mostly, I missed Tobais's love. I will never ask to come back to life. If I did, I would dishonor myself. That's what I believed would happen to me. Tobais…  
  
Tobais, the hawk, and Tobais the human, both of you, need to let me go. You need to live your life, and stop mourning me. Stop it. You know I hate pity. And yet, you let your breakfast go in order to feel sorry for me. Let me go, and let me free. I will always be there for you when you need me.  
  
I was a happy accident. That's what everyone said. Well, I wasn't an accident, nor was I happy. Not until I met you, Tobais. Not until I fell in love. So, as you yourself said before, Tobais, be happy for me, and for all who fly free…"  
  
Oh, you're everyone I see…  
  
But tell me…  
  
Do you see me?  
  
  
  
Tobais  
  
  
  
The day was cool. A nice day for flying. And so, I took off. Half human, half hawk. And also a little half empty. But that was ok, because Rachel was here, in sprit. She was flying with me, and would be, always. And she didn't even need to morph… 


End file.
